Koboreta

 

This picture of myself and Codename Tippy brought to you by reminiscence

Yes, reminiscence indeed as we were walking through the outer edges of Shinjuku.

I have been working on a construction site all week!  I have been the assistant to the roofers, but actually I do believe I got the raw end of the deal, as I have been literally running non-stop all day (except to stop running to do some heavy lifting), and the roofers merely stay up on the roof and use a hammer.  It’s quite the game, but I do enjoy it. It’s very active, and I do love active.

This post is brought to you by Harukosama.com where I have discovered Simone Smith’s Guide to World Domination. This is a very useful tool and very Shinto-based in my opinion. Here, Simone-san give us a step by step guide to create the life we want to live for ourselves.  The concept is completely Shinto, in that it tells you how to control your mind and energy to move the universe to your advantage, but that concept is taken to a level that anyone can understand and work with – even myself, as a season Shintoist, has benefited.  Thank you for that, Simone-san, it was truly inspiriting.

So what is my plan to take over the world?  It involves a book contract or two, a corporate marketing position, and a flat in Tokyo. More to come on that, but for now, I am off to be constructive (no pun)!

 

In Blasphemous Proclamation

昨日は I was photo-shot with my crown of thorns.  All this was inspired by two sources:  Ororon The Devil (the manga), and my novel TETHERED ROMANCE.  そして, きってください…. Let me tell you a story.

The demon falls for the angel. The angel falls for the demon. And all the forces in Heaven, in Hell, and on Earth try to stop them because they are two most powerful beings, and when combined they are a weapon of mass destruction. They suffer for a while while they swim through the wreckage that life creates around them, and they emerge victorious, and together, in the end.

Such is my story. And so too is Seishin’s story, and the reason why he says

Take the light from my crooked halo, and leave me with a crown of thorns.

Imagery in my novels is something I prize greatly as my writing style is done in metaphors – imagery and symbolism are what I use to make points and develop themes. When an image becomes so greatly a part of the story, such as the representation of Seishin’s eternal damnation and quest for purity, it manifests itself in my life.

And the story above is from Ororon The Devil, yet speaks of myself and the Buddhist so accurately.

Ne ne ne Kuruisou

Yes, I have made a crown of thorns. Bet you didn’t think I would actually do it, did ya!  I spent a good amount of time in the forest that is my backyard over the weekend, collecting vines and pruning thorn clusters off of trees to make this contraption. It is twisted vine held with twist-ties, and the thorns are only hot-glued on. I then painted the twist-ties and leftover glue so they wouldn’t show (as the twist-ties were bright yellow…).  I will be putting this lovely proclamation of blasphemy into action within the next little while, as Halloween is fast approaching and the two-year anniversary no tenshi ni narimashita has come and gone.

I have finished my portrait of Abby as well. It was cathartic to draw, which had been a good thing.  I also still get cards in the mail from various sources sending their condolences.  It is nice to know that people out there want to reach me, but it is still a fresh wound and keeps getting re-opened easily.  11 years of happy memories, packed into my distressed mind.

Lastly on my list of adventure for this week, is my trip to Niagara Falls to visit my grandfather and do some research for my new book.  That research included but was not limited to going to Clifton Hill and sitting in the chair of the world’s tallest man, Robert Waldow, who stood 8′11″ tall. Yikes!  It’s a shame he won’t make it into my book.

Yes I have had a busy week indeed, all of this was coupled with my random romps into the real world to try my hand at the money making game. I’m still trying to win, but it was a good start. And lastly, TETHERED ROMANCE has been receiving a lot of productive attention!

2年のまえ

Today October 23, marks my two year anniversary as an angel. Unfortunately with everything that’s happened in my life lately, the celebration got overshadowed and so I’ll still celebrate with my crown of thorns and my light up devil horns – but it will be at a later date. Instead, I would like to reflect!

Two years ago today I was here! At Cottage 13 with the masterful Os Peredes, getting tattooed with 14 needles for 7.5 hours straight. In the corner of this picture on the right you can see a mysterious hand grasping mine! It is Burr, who kept my hands warm as I dozed for the duration of the tattooing. It was actually quite boring, there was not much else to do but sleep!

6 months later, on April 23rd, I was photo-shot at a location.

By then my wings had healed and they had come to represent to me what they were meant to – of which I cannot disclose, and of which only three people in my life truly understand (four including Os).

One year later, October 23rd, I was just returning to Canada from spending some down time in Tokyo, and so the celebration of my one year anniversary was held off until January 23rd.

It was one of the fist snowfalls, and it was cold. And yes, in seven days I’m coming for you (running joke of the picture). I had 12 inches more hair there!

Even in celebration, we chose our winter photoshoot locations wisely – where there is a Tim Horton’s across the street!

So, this my second year anniversary with wings will once again be put off, likely until December when I venture to the Frozen North with the Buddhist and acquire a crown of thorns.

Okaeri Nasai

My baby is home with me now.  Last night, I carried her around and talked to her, and it was very comforting. I had planned to wait until I got her back to mourn, but once I was able to see her again her in her little box, it felt like I had already mourned unintentionally while she was gone, and now that she’s back, I’m able to just focus on the happy memories.  I’ve been drawing her portrait, and while I haven’t drawn anything since I graduated from Mohawk College’s Comic Design and Scripting program, it’s shaping into a beautiful piece.

So what has been going on in my now quiet life?  The publishing industry is at my fingertips while I am also out in the real world a lot more these days. It keeps my career-goal-oriented mind in check.  TETHERED ROMANCE is being written at speeds like never before, and even going through a second round of edits at the same time.

I would also like to introduce my new project. My grandma’s milestone birthday is coming up in May, and I’m going to write a book for her.  It will be about my mom and the other kids growing up in Timmins, Ontario, told from my grandma’s point of view. So far the research that I’ve done into my family has been a blast, and talking with my mom about all those little anecdotes that happened when she was a kid has been too funny. It’s a much welcome light hearted break from reality when I sit down to gather information for this project. I’ll visit my grandpa on Saturday, and I’ll pick his brain as well.

And so I leave you with an excerpt from TETHERED ROMANCE:

“Mitsumete.”  I said.  Look at me.  My voice low.  My hand covered her mouth and I leaned down over her, my eyes in line with hers, my body pressing her to the floor.  The muscles in my arms ached, the bones of my legs ground against the floor.  My hair fell over my shoulders to shroud us from the outside, my body creating a utopia where my madness was held between us.  Her, and me.  “I lied when I said I hate you.”

There was fear in her eyes for the first time.  She had never looked at me so pathetically, and yet her fingers gripped me, unrelenting to my movement, as though she wanted to hold me close to her.  I pushed her eyes away from me with two fingers on her cheek.  “Never mind.  You’re hideous when you look at me.”

Because it has to be.

Lately I’ve been living life like one of my novels – chaotic, full of emotion, full of love, and slightly out of control. But it is the life a writer craves, and what is hectic and challenging only serves as an inspiration to the creative mind. What an inspiration the past month has been for me!  A short story about it all has been ranging in my head lately, and so I’ll write it out and perhaps draw from it to create a novel, perhaps only leave it as a short story, perhaps just make abstract poems from it.

The thing about physical pain is that it heals itself without you having to try.  Emotional pain doesn’t, you need to make the effort to heal it.  One of the best ways to do that is to manifest it, make it physical, even if that only means writing it down so that you can see it instead of having it run the tracks of your mind.  I think this is one of the reasons that the writers like myself to write for their lives are so explicitly excellent with the craft.  We have the experience, and so we also have the emotion. It comes back to saying that writers are guilty of writing to explore their world and make sense of it. I think that I’ve learned it’s not so much an exploration as it is a coping method, a method of making memories in the way that a photograph or a video can.

And so, perhaps my life is going to heal over now, and there are no more open wounds to tend to. I think that it will be a slow process, and I think that I will write it out more times than I can count, and fill a notebook or two – but if that’s what it takes them hopefully something beautiful will emerge.  I have large plans for the next little while, and I’ll be working hard, so I’ll share that all with you in time.

Pictured above, for the curious, is myself and the Buddhist in my life. Light hearted moments. Pictured below is myself in the dojo. Ass kicking moments.

Listen Closely

Thursday night past, I lost someone very dear to my heart.  My baby Aberdeen. I had to thank her for being my rock, tell her I love her forever, and let her go.

I hand raised her as a tiny little kitten that fit in the palm of my hand in 1998, for 11 years, and I have so many memories that I’ll keep alive. Pictures of her are everywhere around the house, her brush is still on the counter in the kitchen where it will stay, and I’ll keep looking for her in her favourite spots to sleep. At least now I know she’s not in pain anymore, and while it doesn’t make losing her easier, it soothes my heart only slightly.

Until my tears stop burning my cheeks, I have the Buddhist to run to.

Spread your wings, baby, and fly.

In The Flesh

Sore wa atashi to Ambur Watt, on a most fateful day for us both where we were NOT secretly celebrating a celebration which Burr despises for logical reasons unbeknownst to the majority. We were indeed about to embark on a cave diving adventure. Yes, wearing that.

So I have been absent and yet I have been working hard during that absence. My Shintoism has been inspiring to myself and the Buddhist in my life as we continue forward. If I had ever lost myself, I have certainly found my footing again. There has been a lot going on in the real world which I have been desperately (once again) trying to become a part of, but so far all the pieces are being wedged together and so shall my future.

I’ve been expanding my realm of music choice lately!  As I have once again taken up TETHERED ROMANCE for the editing, I have discovered a lot of sound that inspires Seishin, one song in particular being FILTH IN THE BEAUTY by The Gazette. Can we say “Sexual Disgrace”?  Yes I do believe we can. Hello, Essence of Seishin.  In addition I’ve been listening to The Trax (Japanese versions) and Buck Tick, along with Olivia Lufkin. That’s quite the mix, yet…so is my writing.

I entertained the idea that I wanted to define what it is I most enjoy writing about, and that was conclusively – the decadence. Blood, lust, dim atmosphere and candle light, and tradition. TETHERED ROMANCE is a prime example as it is a vampire/samurai romance set in feudal Japan. What could combine my decadent loves better? The reason this so appeals to me is that I write settings and atmospheres as if they were characters themselves. They must be rich and tangible.

ひさしぶり!

ひさしぶり!!  Everybody has those days – lay down and roll over cause it’s more than you can take.  I blame Mercury being in retrograde though many would critique me by saying it’s the new trendy thing to blame for stress and terror. Lately my mission has become “to be so zen I can walk on water”.  The Buddhist in my life has served as a great inspiration for the way I live.

I had been overwhelmed with a desperate need for writing TETHERED ROMANCE once again, and so it has begun from where I left it on the wall some weeks ago. Seishin seemed so dormant in me, and had suddenly come to life again as if the winter had broken.  Perhaps he just likes the cold weather better, because in fact it was the summer that had broken.  THE REALITY FILTER has been on my mind so much lately but I still wait patiently (not *scoff*) for it go in house.

I continue to be the rock. The rock is solid.

So for my final act during Mercury’s Retrograde Stunt, is replacing my ipod. I have been using a 3rd gen nano for the past year when of course, a few months after my warenty ran out, IT BROKE ON ME.  I was outraged.  I went to Future Shop and was forced to buy a new ipod nano which is now capable of recording voice, video, and has new fitness options.

Excuse that it’s backwards, my webcam is a mirror.  Okay, at first, I hated the thing because I was so randomly forced to buy it, as I can not go a day without my music and it was absolutely dire that I replace the broken ipod immediately.  I was not happy.  But I told this new one, “Just give me time to love you”, and it was patient with me.  By this morning, I’m in new love! I can take videos! I can record my voice (no more carrying around heavy notebooks and tape recorders)!  I can make it keep track of my steps and burned calories!! And best of all – it’s all in Japanese!

Best of all I can carry with me, my Aberdeen, purring in a video.  A little less lonely with technology around.

“I feel stupid but I think I’ve been catching on.  I feel ugly but I know I still turn you on…”

-Matchbox 20, Mad Season

From My Soul

I blame Mercury being retrograde for the amount of pressure on my soul these days, however I continue to play the roll of the rock (no pun) – I do my work, I send my love, I make my phone calls, and I put a smile on my face. I still say bad words like “love” and “trust” and “peace”, but I still understand there are people who need to hear that.

Yesterday, I was busy creating book covers for the majority of the novels I have written to date.  None of these are official, but I hope that they will have some influence in the official cover when they are published – the first of those novels being THE REALITY FILTER.

You can see all the book covers that I’ve created on my Facebook Page where you might also want to read the descriptions of the books as well.

The next few days leading to the end of the week are very busy and packed full of adventure for me, as the majority of the month of September has really been.  Until I touch base again!