Because it has to be.

Lately I’ve been living life like one of my novels – chaotic, full of emotion, full of love, and slightly out of control. But it is the life a writer craves, and what is hectic and challenging only serves as an inspiration to the creative mind. What an inspiration the past month has been for me!  A short story about it all has been ranging in my head lately, and so I’ll write it out and perhaps draw from it to create a novel, perhaps only leave it as a short story, perhaps just make abstract poems from it.

The thing about physical pain is that it heals itself without you having to try.  Emotional pain doesn’t, you need to make the effort to heal it.  One of the best ways to do that is to manifest it, make it physical, even if that only means writing it down so that you can see it instead of having it run the tracks of your mind.  I think this is one of the reasons that the writers like myself to write for their lives are so explicitly excellent with the craft.  We have the experience, and so we also have the emotion. It comes back to saying that writers are guilty of writing to explore their world and make sense of it. I think that I’ve learned it’s not so much an exploration as it is a coping method, a method of making memories in the way that a photograph or a video can.

And so, perhaps my life is going to heal over now, and there are no more open wounds to tend to. I think that it will be a slow process, and I think that I will write it out more times than I can count, and fill a notebook or two – but if that’s what it takes them hopefully something beautiful will emerge.  I have large plans for the next little while, and I’ll be working hard, so I’ll share that all with you in time.

Pictured above, for the curious, is myself and the Buddhist in my life. Light hearted moments. Pictured below is myself in the dojo. Ass kicking moments.

~ by bjevanael on October 18, 2009.