Well you all know how I love my tattoos, and so I have begun the finishing process on one that I’ve had already for some time.  You probably recognize the writing in this picture as the tattoo I got for my 24th birthday, a year and a half ago. Well, I always knew that I wanted something to go with it, but I wasn’t good at making the decision at the time, so I made the best decision of all – I waited until I was sure. For months and months now, I ended up sure that I wanted a white chrysanthemum. The chrysanthemum is a Japanese symbol of perfection, and the white colour symbolises purity. That sums me up pretty good, right?? PURE PERFECTION. Hahaha….

Anyway, it’s not finished yet. I have already sat for 3 hours, and there is at least another 1-2 hours left to go. But what I didn’t realize is that next to the ribs, that part of the arm is one of the most painful places to tattoo. So yes, along with my first colour experience, this tattoo was also my first painful one. As always, this tattoo was done by Os Peredes at Cottage 13. Would I trust my skin to anyone else?

So what else has been going on?  I’ll make you a list:

• Publishing house tour is happening soon. All my material is pretty much ready to go.
• I’m pitching three books on the tour: THE REALITY FILTER, TETHERED ROMANCE, and GOOD FAITH IN MEN.
• I started my new course in my makeup artistry program last night. Make sure you watch Glitter and Gore.
• I’m going to be in a karate tournament Feb 18th, so I’m ramping up my training these days, while being careful of my healing tattoo.
• I’m competing in kata and weapons, and my husband is also going to be competing. But we are in separate divisions because I have a higher belt.
• I will receive my black stripe very soon (this week!) which means that in the spring, I will be grading for black.

December 16, my husband and I went to see Dir en Grey in Toronto!  It was my 3rd DEG show, and my husband’s 1st, and it was Concert of the Century for him.  I knew what to expect with Kyo’s antics and everything, but he still blew me away with everything I wasn’t expecting.

We all know that Kyo is very dramatic on stage, often cutting himself and contorting, falling off the Kyo Box and knocking himself out at times, even.  He sure didn’t disappoint!  The emotion on his face the whole time was so compelling, I could barely take my eyes off of him. The rest of the band was pretty reserved, though they came up to the front to slap hands in the audience every once in a while. Toshiya, according to my husband, as I couldn’t see him, was very energetic, bouncing around all over the place!  Die was drinking an alarming amount, actually, with glasses of wine and beer bottles all over his side of the stage.

The mosh pit was awesome!  Head banging and thrashing in sequence with a pit full of people is quite the experience, but I have done it before in a DEG pit, and definitely will do it again!  We were squished in the 2nd row from the front, and so we didn’t end up moving too much because we were sooo packed in. We were still able to jump and head bang to the music though, which is the point, of course. I was surprised that I was lacking battle wounds, only one bruise+scratch on my arm, and nothing else. I got more battle wounds at the Miyavi concert!

They played a good mixture of songs from their newest album, and some of their earlier ones. Nothing past Withering to Death, but that’s still quite the old selection!  Kyo is known for singing horribly off key and just butchering the vocal lines, but this time he was surprisingly doing very well staying on key the entire set.

Really good show!

FOR NOW, I would love it if you would check out my post on GLITTER AND GORE about animal testing.  It is something very close to my heart, and I want everyone to make the switch to a cruelty free beauty industry.

See you next time.

This is me and my husband with MIYAVI!!  We got to meet him after a wicked awesome concert on Devil’s Night in Toronto.

Actually, me & my husband’s first Official Date was Miyavi’s concert last year in June, so this had some special meaning to us besides going to see an amazing musician (one who I’ve loved since he was still in Due Le Quartz).  The mosh pit was SO MUCH FUN, and we bounced and sang along to Selfish Love, Jibun Kakumei (which was a request from the audience), Shelter, Subarashiku…Wonderful World, Torture, Survive, and so many others.  I was pleased to hear Osan Osan Ore Nanbu yet again – and dismayed that last year might have been the last time we hear Neo Visualism live.

Happy belated Halloween, too!  We carved a coffee cup into our pumpkin while watching The Addams Family last night.

I’m in the process, now that the entire manuscript of TETHERED ROMANCE is complete, of getting it ready to send queries and pitches out to agents and editors. So I wanted to share this process with you, because I know there are tones of resources out there on the “how to”, but I haven’t seen any directly from an author that’s been through the process.  Also, something I’ve recently done is requested celebrity endorsement, which is something that pretty much 0 authors attempt. I’d like to also share that as an option.

I published THE REALITY FILTER without an agent. I approached the publisher directly with my pitch, because it was a small publishing house, I was able to do that. A literary agent is not necessary for an author, but it does help a great deal to have one, as some houses will not accept queries or pitches unless they are from an agent. To bypass the agent, authors must go to the house’s acquisition editor. The acquisition editor in the house is the bigwig who’s going to filter all the manuscripts that are received, and pick out the ones that will make it into judging. Whether you are pitching to an agent or an editor, the format is the same:

• Query must be one page in length – no longer.
• Opening sentence should be the hook – the book in one sentence that is going to grab attention. Like a tagline. This should also include your explanation of why you chose to query this particular agent/editor.
• The mini-synopsis, one paragraph in length, which explains the entirety of the book. It should also explain why the book is new and different and deserving.
• Your author bio – it should be concise and include your awards, previous publishing experience, and really only needs to get personal if you have some kind of expertise that makes you the only person able to write your book. Otherwise, keep it very professional.

With TETHERED ROMANCE coming to a close, the process of getting it into a publishing house will begin. There is only a few more things to finish up on the manuscript before it will be ready, and I will enter into the proposal stage. Ugh, how I hate the sound of that. Actually the process of writing proposals and things to send to publishing houses is exciting and gives me a huge sense of accomplishment.

But anyway, I am here to talk about my new novel project, GOOD FAITH IN MEN. Above, is a little poster I made with the image of my character of Belial. Yes, Belial – second in command to the Devil. GOOD FAITH IN MEN is my telling of how the hierarchy of Heaven became what it is known to be.  The story takes place before there was an order of Heaven, before a God was appointed, when all the important angels (Michael, Raphael, Lucifeil..) were all young and impressionable.  It centers on Levi – who I made into an old angel, but the name comes from the Levi in the bible that was the first to record anything about the demon Belial.

Levi is a rebel in the dictatorship that Heaven stands in, under the commanding hand of the high ranked angel Manasseh. Levi has been stealing the dead from Earth, and experimenting to create a being that would aid him in a successful rebellion. As his room in angel house is covered with the death and mistakes of previous experiments, Levi names her “Belial”, meaning “nameless”, “meaningless”, in anticipation of his failure with her as well.  His experiment succeeds, and giving her divinity, Levi creates her with all the power to overthrow Heaven’s leader.

Divinity and human emotion do not mix – and Belial becomes an all powerful sinning mess, taking the dictator and a few other angels with her.

GOOD FAITH IN MEN is for the non-believer, and self-indulgent.

God judged Lucifer for having beauty that surpassed his, so he banished him from Heaven.  God was jealous that Lucifer had friends, so he called them Demons and made them fall from Heaven. God couldn’t acknowledge death, so he condemned Gabriel to bring it. The bottom line – Heaven is a dictatorship run by a corrupt leader.

The themes involved in GOOD FAITH IN MEN are, as usual, messages exposing the discrepancies in society:

• Creation and destruction
• Rejection of authority in contemporary society
• Hierarchy

Guess what?  I’ve started a beauty blog.

Glitter and Gore - glitterandgore.wordpress.com.

Here I will be documenting everything I learn while in training to become a professional makeup artist.

My novel TETHERED ROMANCE has been one that has been hugely anticipated.  I’ve spoken about it before, but I’ll just recap. I started writing it when I was in college, and it’s been a wild on and off journey ever since. It’s gone through some edits, and now it’s coming to an end. It’s getting ready to be presented to the world. You can read the in depth description of TETHERED ROMANCE in the Discussions section of my Superman Disposition Facebook page. Here is the thread.  There are many discussion threads about the characters and themes of TETHERED ROMANCE on the page.

I wanted to post a sample scene of TR, but before I do that, I must remind you that my currently selling book is THE REALITY FILTER, available on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com, search The Reality Filter.  There is also a preview of it on Google Books.

TETHERED ROMANCE

I was alone.  My redemption had been lost, and I knew, the purity inside me was another game I would be forced to win.  The hand that marked my cheek with a stain of red was the hand of the God I prayed to.  I’m not used to standing still, and I’m not used to feeling full, and I’m not used to being heard when I scream.  You’re making people up, and I don’t know if I’m real anymore.  I could speak to you, into the wind so it would carry it across the ocean, into every corner of the world and invade the dreams on the other side.  I could, but it wouldn’t matter because I was never the love you needed or the bliss I had been praying for.  But why do I love you?  Why do I need you so strongly when all the world to you was the floor I bled upon.  I had misused you, and I had cried for you, and I had cherished you but I did it so you wouldn’t leave.  So I would still have a reason to soil myself, hurt, I did it so I would have a reason to keep crying, keep bleeding, because the real world loved me if I did.  I did it so I would have you there, when I needed the hope.  And all I had to do was look at you.  All I had to do to steal your power was look at you, and you were mine, and you couldn’t escape.  That’s what love is.  That’s why I hate you for making me love him.

There were bad things in the world.  I was the worst monster of all the things to fear.  I had the horns of a devil.  I had the wings of an angel.  I had the voice of a banshee.  I had the breath of a snake.  I would be tempted.  I would steal.  I would get angry.  I would cast blame.  But I was perfect.  There was a word I whispered and my audience of one would pale.  And through it all I had only one question. Had it been worth love?

The sliding doors thumped in the frames with a sharp echo, as the force of my arms pulled them apart.  In the dead of the night, the sounds ran rampant like a flock of birds.  My presence went unannounced.  There was no one in my home to greet me now, the innocent side that I had locked away would remain in the shrine, and my nightly companions were no more than stains upon the floor.  Solace greeted me.  Silence greeted me.  It was more than I required from that world I had long since abandoned.

I turned my gaze back over my shoulder into the night.  The village was still, and I was restless.  We didn’t match.  But my adversity was nothing, because they judged me in fear.  They punished me because they were afraid.  I was a product of their hate, made to be feared because we didn’t see eye to eye, and that was reason to paint me red with disdain.

From the doorway, the tea pot caught my eye, catching a glint of the light filtering in from the window.  A smirk came to my lips as my mind became a puzzle of thoughts, all with conclusions that would have me reaching the same end.  They had to demonstrate their power over me.

I let my arms fall listlessly as I walked forward into the room.  A white square of cloth was tucked away under the tatami, discarded from some unfortunate soul that had visited me and was never reclaimed, buried.  I smoothed it out over the tatami, placing a mound of used tea leaves in the center.

“Teru Teru Bozo, ashita tenki ni shite kure.”  My prayer doll, please make tomorrow a sunny day.

I began singing the tune, a superstitious poem from the fields outside of Edo.  I held up each side of the white square, tying the cloth around the mound of tea in the center.  As I hung the finished amulet in the doorway, I continued the song.

“Atashi no negai o kitta nara, amai osake o tanto nomasho.”  If you make my wish come true, we’ll drink lots of sweet sake.

I returned to the tea pot, shaking the fire pot slightly.

“Teru Teru Bozu, sore demo kumotte naitetara…”  Teru Teru Bozu, if it’s cloudy and I find you crying…

I struck the match and held it up to my eyes, where the flame was reflected with a hateful colour.

“…Sonata no kubi o chon to kiruzo.”  …Then I shall snip your head off.

I dropped the match into the fire pot.

The night was strangely humid, and the air clung to me, thick with moisture, thick with the stench of rage.  Hatred from both myself and the sleeping village lingered in the atmosphere, creating storm clouds, hanging low.

And I watched the fire spread.  It took off where I dropped the fire pot from my hands clasped listlessly around it.  It touched the ground with crawling fingers, searching.  First one house, then another, the bridge over a tiny river, on and on it went.  Black smoke billowed as if the earth was weeping demons.  Shortly, I thought, shortly, they would wake to this.  And they would instantly know that there was only one being in all of Edo with enough hate and injustice to commit the crime.  They would know that by that time, I would be gone, cleansed and vanished with the smoke as it cleared by the wind.

“That place made you famous.”  As I told my tale, Sugai leaned in from his spot before me on the floor.  He was entranced, like he had always been, lost in the power of my voice, my bidding.

 

“That place also hated me.”

 

“It gave you fortune, power, beauty.”

 

“It gave me shame, jealousy, pain.”

 

He turned his head as if he had been insulted.  What did he care?  What had Edo been to him?  I didn’t have to hide my disdain for where I had come from, or what it had made me.  “So you burned it.”

 

“And everything in it.”  I was proud.

 

“You’re a monster.”

 

“You made me a monster.”  Short.  That had been the point that I hated him, and everything else, was the point that I loved him.  I thought he must have been right, that I was a monster, because I tortured myself with emotion when I should have cut him out of my heart.  Instead, I had destroyed the place that born and bred me, and crossed the earth in search of him to beg for his love.  What a fool I was.  What a monster.

 

“Perhaps, my dear Seishin, all you wanted was forgiveness.”

 

Have you seen my new photoshoot yet? It’s delightfully creepy!

So, Government Grants for writers – how do you do it?  It’s something that every writer wants to have, and it is something very elusive.

Well, it’s a tricky subject that I’ve been dabbling with for some years now. Previously, I had been looking for a way around the system, because you must already be a published author in order to receive a grant. This is because the grant may not be used for the purpose of marketing or seeking publishing. The grant assumes that the author knows what they’re doing in terms of those things already, and is meant to be used as a supplement to the author’s income so that the author may take the time to write and publish. I finally became eligible for the grant with the publication of THE REALITY FILTER, but there is another way to become eligible, and that is to publish 5 or more articles in magazines or other media like that. I hadn’t realized that article publishing was acceptable for the grant, or I would have applied years ago with the articles I was publishing for MAYDAY MAGAZINE, where I worked at the time. The more you know…

The grant application process is actually pretty easy. The most difficult thing was planning the budget. Authors are not usually fluent in math or finances. As an emerging author, I had a budget of $3000 a year for up to 4 years. This budget allowance changes depending on what point in your career you’re in.  The budget is broken down into substinence costs, material/other costs, and travel costs. I was just fine allowing $1000 for each category, to help supplement my income, pay for gas to go do research, and to buy or rent research equipment. The good thing is that you don’t have to provide the government with a detailed budget, so the reports you must give throughout the grant’s lifetime are not strict.

You must have a project in mind which you will be working on during the course of the grant. The competition process is actually based on the project you plan to be doing, and you must provide a detailed description of the project. I made sure to include information about the themes and character growth along with the description of the plot line, because I wanted to stress that the reasons I write the stories I do is to send a message. I wanted to make sure that the story was coming across for what it is – a compilation of lessons in the human condition when it comes to the dangers of beauty, innocence, vanity, and power.

The other sections of the grant application are pretty straightforward: a resume, a list of publications, and a sample. Basic things that anyone in the publishing industry wants from a writer. I ended up with a document about 35 pages in total to send as my application.

The deadline for english language applications is October 1, 2011. For french and other languages, April 1, 2012.  Get granting!

I did an awesomely creepy photoshoot at the closed down Insane Asylum in Hamilton.  Along with the intense makeup, I also experimented using makeup to create cuts and bruises.

Check out the whole shoot on my Facebook Page!